Status'

College is not for study
Anbu @ MNC
Dashed an ambassador with my zen
Anbu !@library
Kruzade '08
I hate placements.
Kruzade '09
Change is good
Anbarasu - " "

The above has been my status messages in orkut n face book in chronological order. It was fun with all these and I always meant what i put in as my status. But i never even dreamt at least once that i wud end being very happy about getting into an IT Company.

today my status says
" leaving Coimbatore today to Honey well, Madurai. Bye all :( just for a while :) "

something that the status message bar length doesn't allow
- leaving family & friends just for a while
- F5erz are too costly to miss
- Perks is all that it groomed me and I am going to miss the "ASSOCIATION"
- I am really excited and grateful about this opportunity and the challenges that awaits :)
- lotta routines to be changed
- change is what i believe in :)

If this is it. So be it . And am very happy about it :)

THE new house

this is where am

-> living for the past 4 days :)
-> planning to live for 5 more days :)

The dream....

I still don't know the exact time "THE DREAM" happened. I was in my sleep obviously. And still remember it to the brightest of the details. The reason for writing this down is I don't want to forget this interesting and equally weird dream. Heres how it started...


scene 1:
A dull green cloud of grass spread all around. It got sharpened. Only then i realized that it was my apartment lawn.It was as usual, that i was chatting with my friends there. None of the friends were visible or hardly heard any of them .
Near my house window which is clearly visible from the lawn I saw the thing i have seen very often. It was a girl :( But this one was something special, totally strange and totally unfamiliar. She was leaning her back over the window with one leg bent onto the wall and was standing there for no reason at all.

scene 2:
There were a couple of men working with mud , near that girl, some serious problem it seemed. We all gathered around those men. The girl was already looking at them. Suddenly she jumped into the scene, stopped those men working, and gave a speech about some concept in physics which i don't remember at all. I suddenly felt a jive in me, thinking about how beautiful her mind works or how beautiful she thinks.

scene 3:
Heavy rain outside. I was sitting in the front seats of the bus. There were heavy dancings on the back seats. It was an iv actually. The same girl was sitting at some five rows from the back. This scene was ecstatic. I didn't know how many times I turned around to have a glimpse of her. hundred times. may be thousand. But all that i could remember was those droplets of rain from her ear rings. The most beautiful things are those which are not seen yet.

total black out for some time...

scene 4:
in the room : the girl , me and my friend.

me: lemme make this clear. what dou think about me ?
girl : The thing is. In this whole world.....
(i couldn't hear any more of her speaking but she was talking for a long time)

I was very eager for the next scene to come. Coz i didn't know what she told.

scene 5:

In a distance i saw two of them walking hand in hand. One was that girl. The other one was clearly unclear. I thought it was me who was walking with her. If then what am i doing here seeing them walk. I never wanted this to end this way. All i could see was the other one wore a yellow PUMA sandals, which i see every day in my shoe stand :)

"yippee" i was about to say. But there came some green gases whirling around. Both of them faded away into those fluids. The gases become more pungent. Ultimately ending it as my apartment lawn. "Happies endings" :)

Change is good....

things change rite. They change so fast. I luv this change for all that it teaches me. Actually i have thought about how change works when i studied "who moved my cheese?" in my in 9th std. The way change works is so awesome. really awesome.

News
newspaper
books
knowledge
country
friends
people
economy
government
house
vehicles
school
college

Everything changes. And am really excited by the fact that I keep in pace with these changes in some way or the other: sometimes stupid, lucky, unlucky, wise, in some way . Apart from all those materialistic issues the change which happens within you is real awesome.
In school i was real dumb. But coll was different. in fact i made it different myself.Thanks for all those people & things which changed me and are changing me. Especially my friends and parents who always come up with pat or a slash on my back when ever they think i go absurd. Feel proud to be in this ever changing community, bearing all the abilities to keep myself updated and run in pace with my counterparts , racing and loosing to others. All that is to be done is to change with the world , failing which would lead to complete disappearance and considerable loss of significance.

thoughts work...

in my mind ...

1. only today i found out that I am
a. not at all easy going
b. highly sensitive
c. very lazy
d. irresponsible
but i feel happy for the reason that till date i thought i was easy going , not sensitive and very responsible. So i gotta lotta work to correct my self from now on ....

2. College ends right in here .I Missed so much time without talking to some of those in my class with whom i think i would have made a very good friendship :(

3. I tell to a lotta people "be your self and don't even care what others think of you"... but i get a hard feeling that am not sticking to those braces now a days... :(

4. Sister is getting married on Nov 2. Very happy about that. But am going to miss her so much in some way. The fact that my mama is one gem of a guy makes me forget all those 'miss her' feelings :)

5. When am supposed to write what ever i feel like writing in my blog, i abstain from it for some reason or the other ....

6. no more parotaas ( instead dosas)
no more coffee ( instead some juice)
no more puff ( instead masala buns)
from last Monday... all for my healthy being :)

safely out of my mind :)

College

I used to write letters to my mom when I was in hostel in my school days. Very often. Cos i missed her so much. At those times when nobody is in room, I ll sit by the window... looking at the farthest tree i cud see and the mighty mountains behind those trees with an inland letter in my hand but with no words to write, for hours. Because i doubted whether the words I write would actually tell my mommy "how I felt for her and how i missed her". The truth was none of those words ,actually told my mom what i felt. but i continue to sit in my room staring at those trees ....

This time its college which am going to miss.And I already started staring at the keyboard....

Sorry mate , am going to miss you so much. But please tell me ,how do I handle your absence before you go outta site from my tear laden eyes :(

hours to cry before we sleep..

------better not to read this :-)-----too philosophical------------

When we are up to something we leave behind some other things which seems unimportant to us at that time. And when we are denied the thing which we are up to ,we obviously trail back some steps and take the other 'road not taken'. At times, the backward trail is so easy and simple. But in these easy cases, we would have contemplated the consequences and forthcomings well in advance. This is what we mean to be cautious or 'be prepared for everything' attitude.

But what do we do when we fail miserably? In a way upon which we haven't thought about an alternative .What runs in our mind when our desire lead us somewhere near a dead end, from where there is no coming back, because we were too weak to imagine the things to be ready with, in case of failures. Or May be we didn't want that thing to fail us so badly, because life seems so so meaningless, if that is not going to happen. When life goes meaningless and when we aren't prepared for such a vacuum so big as this, its better to sit alone, all alone and cry until we cry better .... :-(